Breakups, Makeups, and Time Heals All Wounds

Breakups, Makeups, and Time Heals All Wounds

I recently finished reading The Matchmaker’s List by Sonya Lalli and I was floored by how great this book felt. Aside from all the feels I got from this novel, I found myself really resonating with the position Raina found herself in. There are a couple of obvious differences, but I wanted to write about them.

The story itself reminded me a lot of my dating life before I met my husband. Raina goes through a difficult break up after only a year of dating. This was before everything else happens in the story. This is before she finds her own love. But when I read that and how much she still loved that person even after two years of not talking, I pretty much melted. It was like reading my own life story and the one boyfriend that crushed me time and time again.

Back when I was still in college, I met this boy through my sister’s boyfriend. He was a skateboarder and super cute and I totally crushed on him instantly. We started dating almost immediately after meeting being goofy and laughing the entire time. And we stayed together for two years.

And then one day he broke my heart.

It wasn’t an easy breakup. He was trying to finish up school. I thought I might have been a little too clingy, so to give him some space I stopped texting or calling to make plans. I wanted to give him the time to finish up his final projects; it was his final semester after all. After his last final, I texted him and told him how proud I was and asked if he wanted to get celebratory drinks with me.

He texted, “why?”

After that, he proceeded to tell me that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore. That was it. No other excuses. No other reasons.

I wasn’t sure if I did something wrong; if I was the reason why we weren’t together anymore. After that moment, I fell into a dark hole of despair. I punched a wall. I cried my eyes out every single night. I forced myself to smile while I went to work and did a full eight hours sitting at my desk and hearing complaints. He didn’t want to be with me anymore and that was it.

A few months later, he texted me out of the blue.

“I miss you,” it said.

A few months isn’t a lot of time to get over someone you thought to be your first love. So when that text came in saying that he missed me and he wanted to see me, of course I jumped on it.

I spent the next three years never going on another date with him or any other guy. I’d get drunken late-night texts saying he loved me and wanted to come over. I would pick him up in cabs out in the middle of nowhere because he was so drunk he vomited all over the front of his shirt. He cried because he was so messed up and he needed to go home; he needed me. I spent three years being someone else’s emotional pillar. And then one day I had enough.

It took me three years to realize that I was giving away the best years of my life to someone who didn’t care enough to take me out to dinner. I spent so much time being so frustrated with myself for loving someone who didn’t love me back. I spent more time with him alone than we did in our actual relationship.

And then one day, it just stopped. I looked up from the bottom of the dark pit and saw light at the top. I let him go. I let the years we were together go and from that moment on, I felt like I was finally done.

People don’t say this enough, but time fixes everything. Time heals all wounds. It can be a scrape on your knee or a tear in your heart, but somehow the human spirit fixes it and you find yourself stronger. I know I still have emotional scars from that experience that won’t ever fade, but I also learned a lot from it. The most important lesson I learned is to know your own worth, shine bright like a diamond, and someone who deserves you will find you.


You can read all my thoughts on the book on Goodreads.

You can find the book on Amazon.

What I’ve Been Reading Lately

What I’ve Been Reading Lately

Happy Mid-Month! So I’ve been trying to think of fun ways to share with you what I’ve been reading lately. I figured this is the best way to give you some idea of what’s going on in my reading life.

If you don’t follow me on Instagram, then I’ll let you know here. I recently downsized my massive 18-book TBR down to 10. I feel so much better now with reading 10 books over 18. I think I was trying to get as much reading done before the end of the year and it just wasn’t happening. It would basically mean I’d be reading ALL DAY for the entire month without breaks. I don’t know about you, but I love to read but I don’t love reading where it’s an obligation.

Also, it’s tough to keep up with a TBR. I keep getting new books every week and I just want to tear into them now, but because I’m trying to keep to my TBR and go rogue, I’ve had to wait. And I hate waiting. I might have to reconsider this whole monthly TBR in the new year.

But now that my list has narrowed down, I feel like I can read these books at the pace I enjoy. Here’s what I’ve been reading lately:

My Favorite Half-Night Stand by Christina Lauren

  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
  • Genre: Contemporary Romance

It honestly doesn’t take a lot to impress me and after being disappointed by Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating, I didn’t have my hopes too high for this one. However, this turned out to be a fun book and I love fun so of course I enjoyed this one. This was a fun little read and the book I read after cutting down my list to ten books. It was definitely a great palate cleanser, a fun little love story, and not too tough at all. There were a few things I wasn’t happy about, but it doesn’t really take away from the rest of the story. Check this one out if you’re looking for something light and easy this holiday season.

Find my review on Goodreads

The Matchmaker’s List by Sonya Lalli

  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
  • Genre: Romance/Womens’ Contemporary Fiction

I honestly don’t think this is a romance novel. This is definitely women’s fiction about Raina’s dating life. It’s got a lot of different components and becomes a really compelling read, but there wasn’t a lot of love. I think romance and love are the main topics of conversation, but I feel like this is more of a woman’s journey to finding herself and finding who she wants to really be with. I enjoyed it when you think of it that way. I know a lot of people won’t like this one because of some of the other themes that come up. That’s okay. I’ll just have to hype this book up as a story about a young woman who’s been pushed around by her friends, family, and exes a little too long.

Find my review on Goodreads

Waiting for Eden by Elliot Ackerman

  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
  • Genre: Literary Fiction

I have to keep emphasizing this, but this book is less than 200 pages long and it will rip your heart out. It’s a character-driven story about three people: Eden, a paraplegic bedridden solider who is waiting for his last breath to finally come. Mary, Eden’s wife who secretly had sex with Eden’s best friend (and fellow solider) and birthed their daughter. The solider who is randomly a part of this entire endeavor, dead in the same accident that handicapped Eden and watching over the last few years waiting for Eden to die. It talks about death and dying in both what’s ethical for a human to die and what happens after you die. It also covers the strange events leading up to Eden and his friend both being in this accident. You feel the most sadness for Eden. He’s suffering for three years, using codes to ask the nurse to kill him, and he’s not sure if his wife loves him anymore. While it isn’t my cup of tea despite it breaking my heart, it is something to definitely check out.

Find my review on Goodreads